My Incredible Ipod
My favorite possession is one of the most popular devices in nowadays. When my 17th birthday my father gave me a very cool gift an Ipod Mp4 player. It has a rectangle shaped, white body with a gray round bottom in the center,It’s smaller than my hand and it looks so exquisite. I can just touch the screen slightly to select the items,and it really works well, I can put as many songs, movies and photos into it as I want . I really like cartoons, such as simpson, kungfu panda and so on. I put all of my favorite into it. I hold lots of things. That is amazing! The movies and photos on my little ipod have the best quality. I really enjoy myself when I watch movies through ipod. I regard it as sweet apple in my hand, and it’s also very convenient to bring ,so I take it with me everyday. Most of my friends and classmates didn’t have one, so they all admire me a lot, and I always share the interesting things with them from my Ipod ,in that way, I won lots of friends,too. I was very proud of owing such an awesome device. And it also has other functions, such as games ,calendar ,timer. I love my Ipod ! Not only can it entertain me, but also keepme company with whenever I’m sad or lonely. The Ipod is the most wonderful gift in the world!!
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Great~ Good job~
ReplyDeleteBut I think you need more sensory details about
size and shape.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete...Thanks patrick & Andrew, i will revise it later ~~kkkk
ReplyDeleteHi, Zyawei. your paragraph is so interesting, but you need to make a point about your conclusion.
ReplyDeleteZyawei !
ReplyDeleteI can feel that you are relly like your Ipod.
when I was reding your writing,I feel like when I got the present...
hi,yawei. i agree with you ipon is a good gift. but i found some grammer mistakes in your paragraph and i thought some details is unuseful in your paragraph. for example, " I really like cartoons, such as simpson, kungfu panda and so on. " that's all.
ReplyDeleteZyawei, your grammer is amazing! The applications provided in the ipod touch are always interesting. You make me want to buy one too.
ReplyDeleteRight ^^ It's very useful ...I'd like to compare with mine ...kk
ReplyDeleteZyawei,
ReplyDeletecould you show me your incredible ipod one day?
it is really interested to me because I will have fun to watch cartoons from your ipod.
Giving you an ipod as a BD gift,your dad is so cool! I wish i could get an ipod or an itouch on my borthday though.
ReplyDeleteJust one small-piece advice, recheck again your paragraph before posting it on blog. Then, a few mistakes, such as some errors of spacing or capitalizing, will be prevented in your paper.
There are many people who have ipod. I will buy it.kk Can you explain shape of yours more?
ReplyDeleteI agree with bobby's opinion about there are many people who have ipod. I feel like i should get ipod like others who have ipod.
ReplyDelete